


I Am Human and I Need to be Loved

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-23
Updated: 2006-08-23
Packaged: 2019-05-31 03:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "So this friends thing, will it have you deflecting all questions with one word answers while Babylon crumbles around you."





	I Am Human and I Need to be Loved

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

The reelection was in full swing. The President made his intentions known before a packed crowd in his hometown and they were on their way. It looked as if he and the First Lady had either made up or called a cease-fire. Though there were skirmishes, no casualties had been counted in the war between the political strategists and the Communications Department. No pitchforks went up anyone’s ass. And CJ was back where she belonged, behind the press podium without scrutiny. It was time to focus on what lie in wait.

An independent counsel was going to be assigned; the President faced impeachment for non-disclosure of his illness. Many people felt he lied…CJ was one of those people. She found it better to keep her opinions to herself. She didn’t know if she wouldn’t have done the same thing under similar circumstances. If called in front of a grand jury, all she had to do was tell the truth. What was the truth anymore? Oliver Babish had raked her over the coals so often the Press Secretary was beginning to feel as if she were part of a vast conspiracy to lie to the American people. As if she had not been misled too. 

She spread his message…or his lies, depending on whom you asked. She, Abbey, and Leo were knee deep in this and there was no end in sight. All the speeches in the world could not fix this, and CJ was about to get them in deeper. If they wanted to come out of this looking like the good guys, they were going to have to swim in some serious shark infested waters. It was not just about losing their jobs come November; facing prison was a possibility.

That is why she couldn’t sleep. The bouts of insomnia had worsened since the night she got back from Napa; the night she knew something was on the horizon. The night she and Leo got back together. Their happiness was short lived. There was no telling of the friends and family, no press release, no photo op outside his hotel or an overpriced restaurant. Less than a week later, he sat her down and told her the President of the United States had relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis. He may as well have said the man could fly. CJ spent the next couple of hours looking up everything she could find on the disease. All the walls came tumbling down…the entire staff went into survival mode.

When he came to her apartment that night, she did not let him up. There was no explanation this time, no discussion, no regret. He had been lying to her for a year and a half. Staring into her eyes and lying to her. He should have forced the President to tell his staff. They were there for his benefit. They should not have been left out there defenseless. How could she love a man like that? How could she share her dreams with him, her hopes? Much less her bed and her heart. Jed Bartlet would always come first and that was the way it was.

It was better anyway. As a couple, an unmarried couple, CJ would be questioned about what she knew when. Her pillow talk with Leo, which was non-existent, would be fodder for the tabloids and the news shows. CJ stared at her ceiling. The light from the moon made shadows dance and the Press Secretary crossed her eyes until her head hurt trying to figure out what the shapes were. She closed her eyes, not thinking she would sleep, but trying to shake the headache. The phone rang, jarring her from her distraction.

“Cregg’s Mortuary, you bag ‘em and we tag ‘em.”

“Funny girl. How ya doing?”

“I’ll be OK as long as you do not say we have to go back to the White House.”

“No. Did I wake you?”

“Take a wild guess.”

“I'm sorry CJ.”

“For what? Lying to me for a year and a half, lying to all of us.” she took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore; I don’t want to have to testify to this conversation in court. It might be better Leo, if we don’t talk at all.”

Leo sighed; he didn’t know how to respond. There was nothing but silence on the other side of the phone.

“Say something Leo.”

“I just want to be there for you. That is all I have ever wanted and I would give anything not to be the one who had to tell you what I told you.”

“I want it too but now is definitely not the time. We have to focus on what we are going to do next…we don't want to lose the President’s agenda in this mire.”

“You don’t have to tell me that. This is going to push us back but it won't knock us down.”

“Leo, there will be subpoenas. It may start as an inquiry into the President’s non-disclosure, but then it will be pills, PTSD, and prostitutes.”

“So Sam, Josh and I should start looking through the want ads huh?”

“Don’t make me laugh.” She smirked. “I am not in a laughing mood.”

“I love you Claudia Jean, and you love me.” He said.

“We need to focus.”

“I know. Can we just…dammit!”

“What?” she was exasperated. She didn’t need this on top of everything else. She was not used to Leo showing his emotion; he picked a really bad time to start doing it.

“Just promise me that you won't shut me out. We can still be there for each other, as always, as friends.”

“The two of us being friends is never going to change. How ya doing there pal-o-mine?”

“Fine.”

“So this friends thing, will it have you deflecting all questions with one word answers while Babylon crumbles around you?”

“Can I come over? I just want to lay with you; I just want to be close.”

“I wish I could say yes but it’s not a good idea. I cannot help but think we are constantly being watched. Yeah, it’s probably paranoid but I feel it. You're not sleeping, are you?”

“I do alright. We are going to let the independent counsel do what it needs to…including nearly unlimited access. Its time for the staff to focus on reelection and what is on the agenda right now. There are going to be a lot of questions so your pressroom will be a circus once more.”

“I can handle it. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“It’s personal.”

“I don’t care.”

“When he told you, did he say why he didn’t tell anyone?”

“I thought you didn’t want to have this conversation.”

“I need to know. I may not like it but I'm fighting for him because I believe in him.”

“He said he wanted to be President. MS is complicated and people don’t know about it. They fear things they don’t know…everyone thinks it’s fatal. He didn’t want to be looked at as a sickly man when he is not. He passed every physical.”

“OK. I gotta try to get some sleep Leopold.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Hey, how about breakfast tomorrow. We’ll go to the Georgetown Diner…they have the best hash browns.”

“With cheese?”

“I have to watch my figure but you can have whatever you want. 6?”

“I’ll be there.”

“OK, goodnight.”

He told her he loved her again, said goodnight and hung up the phone. CJ lay there for a while and listened to the silence before her phone started to beep. She turned it off, turning to look out the window. It was a clear beautiful night; summers in DC were always amazing. CJ didn’t think she would have a minute to enjoy this one. She made a vow to get outside for lunch or a walk at least twice a week…maybe she would drag Toby along for the ride. Her phone rang again and she answered it.

“I'm bringing in a new special assistant. We need fresh eyes, ears, and thoughts. She is a veteran on the Hill and I think she will be an asset with what we are about to go through. What do you think?”

“I think you always run ideas by me first that you think the boys are going to hate. I also think we need more women in the Senior Staff. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“Right. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

CJ found herself smiling as sleep slowly crept into her muscles and took her to a couple of hours peace. It would be nice to have Leo to herself tomorrow morning. Even if it were only an hour or so, that hour would make her day.

***


End file.
